May, 26th, 2022 3:18 pm
I warned I wouldn't be around often. I've been spending less time at the computer and have been mostly hanging out with friends. Even now as I type this I'm hanging out in a discord call with some pals, watching them play games. I think a lot about life/death/time in general and sometimes I'm upset with myself for not spending enough time working on art or being 'productive' (BAH!) but time spent with friends and my chosen family is so valuable to me.
I finished watching This Is Us as it wrapped up on Tuesday, a friend and I made it a weekly ritual to sit and watch and just cry together. These characters, like many others in fiction, I get so attached to. I project onto them and use their life lessons as my own. A big theme in This Is Us, specifically as the show progressed, is so cliche but that you should strive to enjoy moments as they happen rather than focusing on the end. Yet I struggle with it. Anxiety and worrying about endings plague me constantly, but I'm trying to get better.
Other than ritual television antics with friends I have been keeping busy in other ways. Spring Cleaning, Mario Party, Board Games, Ice Cream, Dungeons and Dragons. I went to a drag show (in a warehouse!!) for the first time and it was loud, abrasive, and it was hard to stabilize myself and be present but I saw so many people I know and there is something nice about just being even if it's difficult. Sometimes especially if it's difficult because that's when you learn things.
I'm hoping to work on my site more soon. I've been thinking a lot about how much privacy I want from this space and internet spaces in general so deciding how to build this space is taking a lot of thought. Probably too much thought, honestly. I'm so inspired by everyones sites and I really want to use this as an excercise in identity. While privacy is important, so is being open and sharing things you're interested in. I can't wait to take this site further and build out my own narrative here. Build a space I'm proud of!
Until next time!